Faithful Are the Wounds of a Friend

It's not often that I know exactly what the title is.  Today, I do: faithful are the wounds of a friends.

I am in pain.  The tears were streaming down my face and my nose was getting all stuffy and my throat had that weird, painful lump in it.

I am so, so, lucky to have the opportunity to go through this pain, to have friends who will inflict it - showing their true love to me.  I boast that I will only shine brighter because of it. I will only be stronger.

I had to look at the truth tonight.  I knew what the truth was but I had forgotten it, forgotten the conclusion to the truth.

When they call it the "ugly truth" it is just that.  It's the kind of truth that gives you a red, puffy face and a snotty nose, it's the kind of truth that makes you want to put your face on the ground and stay there for hours because you know that this simple gesture would be better than anything else you could think of doing.

Ah, the truth.  It was the same thing I've hear for years and I responded the way I always do - with resolve to be quiet and still and let the spirit of God change my heart.

That's the only way I'll be new.

That's the only way I can truly love.

~~~~~~

A checklist.  That's what I make my friends feel like.  A checklist that I quickly grow to despise.

Over and over, I will learn that it doesn't matter where I live, or where I work, or what I eat or how I entertain myself - I will be blown about by every wind and thought that comes my way, unless my heart be in the right place.  That place is in Christ.
My. Heart. Has. To. Be. In. Christ every day.

I was looking for an answer, I was saying

"God! what willest Thou for me?"

I got my answer. Right now.  Right where I am.

It amazes me and terrifies me how easily Satan deceived me into thinking that it was all outside circumstances and that I was dissatisfied because of my job and where I live - no, I was dissatisfied because I was not in unity with God and I was inverted into myself.  My eyes and heart were not open to the hearts of my friends, only to the circumstances and checklists.  They need me to care just a lot more and in all the words I heard about the things they are annoyed with and the attitudes they feel from me, the conclusion in my own heart is that this is all symptoms of a deep, deep sickness in me.

I often think, and would like you, reader to consider, that this sickness is like weeds that twist their way into our hearts. Some people call it "baggage."  Throughout our years, from childhood on, we grow in patterns of thinking and in patterns of actions.  All of us have human patterns like this - good and bad.  As a Christian, I believe that God tends us like a garden, taking as much time to weed out the bad and cultivate the good as it did for all of it to grow up in us.

Weeds drop seeds at every level of soil and so they will come back again and again and the Lord will work them out again and again.  One year pulling them up by hand, another year digging them out with a spade and yet other times, burning them with fire.  Don't mistake me:  this working will only continue and progress as you and I submit to it.  In my life, God speaks to me in my heart about His will but MUCH more so through people and my friends.  They are affected by my behavior and so clearly see my patterns, while I might feel that I am getting away with something.

We must be open to correction and willing to look at the ugly truths and the hard truths.  We must be willing to be crushed and yet rise up right after the crushing to go to our Lord and be healed!

This is not to say that it is pain always, for there are times when one is flourishing with roses and gardenias - there is always good and bad within a garden.

My friends did not tell me I had a sickness they only showed me the symptoms, but I know that I need to run to Jesus and lay down at His feet every morning, every night.  That if I do this and open my heart to His work, my friends will truly feel His love and ALL my dreams will come true because my dreams will become one with God's will.


Psalm139:

O that you would slay the wicked thoughts in me O God! Depart from me, therefore, Satan!

He speaks against you wickedly, the enemy takes your name in vain. Do I not hate him O, Lord. who hates you?  Do I not loathe the one who rises against you? I hate him with perfect hatred, he is my enemy.

Search me O Go and know my heart, try me and know my anxieties and see if there is any wicked way in me and lead me in the

Way Everlasting.

Sin is Real And Here's What We Should Do About It

I believe in an enemy of all mankind, a villain whose sole goal is to destroy us.  I believe in a Savior, a hero whose sole goal is to deliver us.  I believe in good and evil.

This is actually a belief that is fading away.  Few believe in right and wrong anymore.  Few react to right and wrong correctly anymore.

I believe in sin.  And I believe there is a way I am supposed to react to sin.  I have begun to understand the patterns of sin and the patterns of the evil-one who created it.

I believe in righteousness.  I believe in the Source of that righteousness and I am beginning to understand what righteousness is...I believe it is not at all what many people would expect.

The pattern of the afore mentioned villain of our story are as follows:

If he cannot "get us" in one way, he tries another.

It is that simple, I believe.  I believe that Satan is a simple creature.   Sometimes I think him very stupid because he is so predictable, however I also think him clever sometimes because I often fall in his traps.

If he cannot get me in one way he moves on to the next.

This is how I explain the conquering of one struggle and how another rises up right afterwards.

I just want to wrap our minds around what these struggles are defined as for us Christians.
I believe that God is so mighty and wise.  I believe that He has an order and a plan, however, it looks nothing like what we can imagine.  I believe we can only look to Him always and seek Him and He'll let us know.

He has, however, defined quite clearly some things He wants us to do and some things He does not want us to do:

TO DO:                                                                            DO NOT:

Love God                                                                      Don't be jealous of what someone else has
Love our neighbor                                                        Don't be selfish or vain
Care for the sick and homeless and widowed              Don't be prideful
Render to Cesar what is Cesar's                                   Don't murder
and to God what is God's                                             Don't lie
Be strong and of good courage                                    Don't be a glutton                          
Love your wife                                                             Don't sin sexually
Follow your husband                                                   Don't be adulterous
Work out your own salvation                                       Don't be afraid
Live a quiet life                                                            Don't hate
Mind your own business and                                       Don't be lazy and foolish
Work with your hands                                                  Don't be frivolous


So that's just a few off the top of my head.  Pretty clear, huh.

So yeah,  if we who claim to follow God, the Father of Jesus Christ, do the things that are on God's do not do list, then we are sinning.  Plain and simple. Sin is simply going against what God asked us to do.

You know, I think the world is trying really hard to convince everyone that there is no such thing as sin, the devil and God.  No, it's not the world doing this, it is the devil himself.  Oh, he uses words and people's feelings as mighty weapons against us!

You know what?  I pause every few minutes to pray that God would help us all to see Him and His truth so we can follow Him.  I'm not afraid that I'm going to be snatched up by Satan, but I do know that I and also you can be so blind.  I put it in God's hands.

Anyway.  There is sin.  And you can look at that list and figure on which ones apply to you.  If none apply to you, go back to the third one.

Now how should we react to sin?  Should we do what the lord of the world is doing and slowly convince ourselves it is not sin?  Should we make a prioritized list of which sin is worse than the others and decide we're "not that bad"?  Only God is the judge of what is worse than what.

Should we begin to watch for these sins in others and save the world ourselves by fighting against them?  Only God can judge others and only God can save the world.

Should we become terrified of doing something wrong?  Should we punish ourselves?  Should we take drastic measures to protect ourselves from temptation?  The latter would not work - many have tried that!  Look at the Amish or Mennonites.  They may be chaste and hardworking and devoted, but again, Satan will get them in other ways.  Even a pie recipe that you think is sooo much better than Edna's can be the sin of pride.

We can't run from sin.  We can't beat it out of ourselves.  Fighting is futile.

So here's the solution, here's the key:

Look to God.  Seek Him with all that is in you.  He is the only one who knows what's best. He is so wise and will give all we need in time.  Praise Him, know and believe that He is good and will do what is best.  He is everywhere.  He is in you, He is in others, He is in the world and in the earth.  If you look for Him you will find Him.  If you trust in Him, you will find peace.  If you make Him king of your life, He will set you free from sin and you. will. fly.

Righteousness is a very big word that may bring many thoughts to your mind.  If you do not understand what righteousness means, it may sound super arrogant to you.  But righteousness simply means united with God.  A righteous person is the one who is sitting at the feet of the throne of the King as a humble servant who wants only what the King wants.  The wise and good King who reigns justly.  That is righteousness and that is what being a Christian means.

Heart Glass

We're about to have  our yearly, special event at church called and "Ingathering". It's a time for our members to be together and worship God. It's kind of like our New Year and family reunion and revival.

One of my friends sent a text to everyone saying

"Let's guard or hearts in preparation for the Ingathering."

 I was asking myself: what is guarding my heart? I have heard this said often growing up and as with so many other things that I don't understand, I am excited to come to an understanding of what this means. I know it means something beautiful.

I was just thinking: what is something that I guard? How do I guard it?

 I went to a wine tasting a few months ago and was given a wine glass with the event name printed in it.

It's special to me. I keep it in my room and only use it to drink special drinks like wine or special juices.  I dare not  leave it out in the kitchen where others can use it. I've left special things out before and they've been broken.

So I think I have somewhat of an understanding now of what guarding my heart is: It is keeping my heart away where it won't be broken or used. And used for a purpose that it's not meant for, or for the wrong time. I think this meaning fits well, i think it's beautiful.

Attempted Destruction of a Pure Life

My next door neighbor had cancer of the jaw. The kind typical of an old man who smokes for years. She had to have surgery, they had to cut a big gash in her leg and use the bone to replace the spot in her jaw.

When she was recovering my mom volunteered to go read her storybooks. That's right:  she was only six years old. It's been a year now and it's really JUST hitting me.

 From day-one Ana was in cloth diapers. Her parents were very much into a healthy, organic lifestyle. Her mother taught my class how to make cloth diapers. They have lived out in the purest country air imaginable.

Ana's parents are farmers and always brought their kids in on everything they do. Ana was potty trained before she was a year old. She and siblings were constantly eating fresh vegetables and loved them too. Ana's parents were working on adopting a child to share in their wonderful life.

There really was no explanation why Ana got cancer.

I can only attribute it to the belief that we have an enemy, a spirit that wants to come into our lives and wreak whatever havoc he can and attempt to destroy us. I believe that he chooses the one who is deeply in the will of God, the one who is seeking God. I believe that Satan takes his biggest swing and lays upon them his biggest blow...but I also believe in The Good One, the One who is our defense and our help-meet. He never fails us if we cling to Him. He pulls us up out of the mess and places us back on the safe rock.

Another one of my neighbors got leukemia a few years before Ana's battle. Paul was the one who had devoted his life to learning the facts about God and the early church. He is the humblest, kindest, wisest teacher our church has known.

He survived the cancer and met so many people he never would have met if he did not get sick.
He made many, many blog posts and videos during his hospital stay in order to continue to teach and eternalize what he knew.

Again I come out with the belief that Satan was trying to annihilate a strong servant of God.
He attacks those who are living a pure life and attempts to destroy them, but he fails.

Paul and Ana's families didn't let go of God and He didn't let go of them. He protected them.
He allowed what happened because Satan dishes out trials in hopes that we'll fall.
Satan never learns that those trials are what make us stronger.

Ever go to a water park and see the people manning the different slides and rides?  

They have to stand there all day or as long as their shift is saying, 

                "You can go...You can go...You can go...".  

Seems kinda boring and they look like it too.  They look bored.  For me it kinda' takes the fun out of the water park when the people telling you to "Go" don't even look like they think it will be fun for you to "Go".  

I think about what I would be like in that situation and other situations such as waitress work.  I like to think I would rock it.  I would smile at everyone as if they were the only person I've seen that day.   That's what I do at my current job.  When someone comes into my massage room, I've prepared the room to perfection just for them.  I've made everything ready just right for them and that one person is my focus.  When I connect with someone and they leave happy, that is the best feeling in all the world.

The lifeguards, though, have to see hundreds of people for five seconds each.  I still think I would run the risk of a facial spasm if it meant seeing others have a good time.  I like to think I'd smile at every single one of them and say "You ready?" and psych them up and then I'd say "Go!" and smile real big as they smile and go.  I'd say,  "You havin' fun?" to the next one because I honestly find the greatest pleasure in seeing others have a good time.  

I've never been a waitress before but I plan to be one someday soon and I think I'd be the best server there was just like my mom.  I'd smile and make people happy and then when I'm old I'll have all the wrinkles to prove it.

To The Pure All Things Are Pure

I was kicked out of Eden

At the age of four.

I experienced the fall

And didn’t even know it.

I could place the blame,

But the answer is the same:

They are fallen too.

Tonight I cry.

I remember years gone by,

Seeds that were planted that grew

Into the tree of good and evil

And choked out the tree of life

I was kicked out of Eden

And wrought with worry

But the Lord has seen my heart.

I’ve been on the stand

With a doubtful jury,

But the mess won’t tear me apart.

To the pure all things are pure.

The Lord has a gift for me,

He’s working on the weeds in my heart

And regrowing the garden of Eden.

He's Reaching Out

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

So even though we  doubt and  sink beneath the waves sometimes, the Lord is still there reaching out His hand to help us. He is not angry that we doubt, he doesn't punish us and let us go on down, he reaches out to help us because he loves us and all we have to do is take that hand.