The question is:  Are you really rejecting Jesus, or are you rejecting what some call "modern-day Christianity" with it's backstabbing, judge-mental hypocrites and warm fuzzy feelings that don't last?
I think you're right to reject the latter.

What if I told you that there are people in the world who actually live what Jesus and His Father taught?  What if I told you that there are people who's Jesus is not safe and comfortable?
These people know that following the real Jesus means stepping out of your comfort zone, doing what you are afraid to do and laying your own wants and desires aside for the sake of others.  There are people who know that Jesus lived to teach us not to be selfish and to realize that there is a God, our Father in heaven, to whom we owe honor and glory.

He is powerful and artistic and merciful and kind.  And He wants us to accept Him as our Father and get to know Him.  He has so much to show us and to give us but He wants something in return:  our love and honor.

Many debate so many ideas in regards to God and the Bible, but a relationship with Him should not be full of worry, anxiety or anything negative for that matter.  Walking with God should be simple:  seek Him, love Him, obey Him.  We learn to obey Him after we know Him.  We know Him by seeking Him.  He's in everyone.  He is anything that is good, truly good.  The difference between an atheist and a Christian is that when they see something good, the atheist gives man the credit and glory, the Christian gives God the credit and glory.  The Bible says that the evidence of the spirit of God is love, peace, joy, kindness, forbearance, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. When I see these things I know that God is there because He made all those things and He is all those things.

There are a lot of traditions out there.  Traditions for how churches and Christians should be. Traditional ways of translating the things God has said.  What if we questioned all of that?  What if we threw it all out and started fresh?
What if the most popular Bible verses among Christians are not the most important ones to God?
We try to establish rules that we believe God lives by.  Some people say, "God is this way and He HAS to be this way".  I say, God doesn't HAVE to DO anything. He does what He wants.  Much of what He has done in the Bible defies many of our rules.  He loved the bad people because they came to Him and wanted Him and sought after Him and loved Him.  Stop trying to figure God out.

I have found that following God means not battling the people around me, not blaming anyone for anything, and taking full responsibility for the things I do.  It can be scary, and challenging, but there are so many sides to God.  I love to see Him in nature, music, art and in my friends.  He's also in the places you'd least expect Him to be.

It's a journey.  I guess in conclusion, I want you to know that God is good and He's absolutely worth following.  If anyone says they're a Christian but there is no evidence of a good change being done in their life, keep looking.  He's out there.

Brake My Heart

Ok imagine a young person in a car at the top of a hill.  The car is in neutral and the brakes are not good at all.  They are rolling to the edge of the hill and people are passing by.  They see the car and and smile and wave.  Some of them in spite of themselves give the car a little push.  It starts to go faster down the hill and people continue to smile and wave.  The person inside is enjoying the rush, but with no brakes, it is a matter of time before someone gets hurt.  It may be the driver or the person in the way of the direction they are going.

Now imagine the young person driving is actually someone who has a crush on someone else.  Everyone who knows, smiles really big and encourages him or her in various ways.  Some saying things like
"You never know, they could be the one" and
"Even if they don't like you back now, that could change soon."
"It won't hurt for you to go hang out with them when you feel like it."
"Awww, sweet"
"You guys would be so great together"
These are things that were said to me.  Maybe what I really needed was some good brakes.

When I was younger I was encouraged by mentors to not keep my feelings to myself and to confess them to someone who could "help me" with them.  They likened a crush to a broken leg and said that if my friend and I both have a broken leg neither of us could help each other much.  Well, I don't know that what I got from mentors was any different than what I would have gotten from my friends.
When I have had crushes in the past, telling someone seemed to cement it in my mind and I felt like it did in other people's minds too.  Like they were going to hold me to it and ask me about it every chance they got.  I felt like I was obligated to like a person once I said I did.

My crushes lasted a long time.  I liked someone for years.  I thought about them, dreamed about them, tried to talk to them, tried to be with them and it was stressful.  I made a fool of myself many times.  I got worried and awkward.  I probably made them worried and awkward.  I got sad because they preferred the company of others instead of me and now I can't blame them.  I was a nervous wreck.

Out of all 6 or 7 mentors I spoke with only about 2 were willing to be brakes for me.  One told me she didn't think he was for me and suddenly I felt freed.  I felt like I didn't have to keep feeding my feelings.  I felt like I could rest and be myself.
The other mentor told me to be careful not to act on my feelings especially in my mind as that was where I was becoming attached.  I read a couple of books that spoke on that as well.
I realized I was infatuated with the person I was crushing on and that thinking about him, stalking him on facebook, looking for him every time I went out, dressing up when I new I'd be seeing him were all ways I acted on my feelings and became more and more attached.

You may say, "There's nothing wrong with any of that, it's all normal and sweet" or you may know how creepy that is.
I think there is something wrong with it because I was not emotionally at peace.  I was in unnecessary turmoil grasping for things that I wasn't going to have.  I couldn't be myself and I had expectations that were not being met.  I think it is unfair to the person I was infatuated with.  In my situation I made my feelings quite obvious.  What is a person supposed to do with someone who is super awkwardly crushing on them?  It must feel weird and uncomfortable.  Maybe he felt those expectations maybe he felt pressure.  All the gobbledygook kept me from really becoming friends.  Which is what I really wanted in the end.

I don't think that if I went back to those times I would know how to act.  I do know that in the future I would like to be the brakes for someone.  I would encourage a young person to not travel miles ahead in their mind, to be still and enjoy the view.  To not think about and become emotionally attached to someone who may not be destined to be apart of your life.  Be a friend to everyone equally and don't be afraid of what anyone is thinking.  It is not your responsibility to monitor what others are thinking.  When the time comes to deal with a situation where someone misunderstood your actions, deal with it in in a respectful and honest way.

And as for boyfriends, crushes and all that, I feel that there is never any harm in taking your time, being patient and waiting for the perfect time.  For me, I feel confident in my relationship with God to know that my perfect time is in His heart and that He has someone special for me someday.