A Letter on Being Gay

I saw a picture on Facebook of a boy who was about 12 years old, he was crying and the post essentially said "I am gay and I'm afraid of what my future may hold."  Lots of people commented sympathetically, encouraging him to have courage.

I've been thinking about all this gay versus not gay stuff that's blowing up the internet and the world.  I know none of it is new, people have been gay for centuries past.  The theme these days seems to be "This is who I am, this is how I was born, I'm embracing the truth about me, don't try stop me."

I was thinking about the little boy.  I was thinking about the two friends I have who's husbands left them to be gay.  I have been fortunate enough to have a friend who used to be gay and who obviously was around gay people a lot.  She helped me understand a little about how hurt and abuse from the opposite sex can lead someone to find refuge in a gay relationship.  I feel for those who have been hurt and I wish better things for them.

A Word to Christians:
I say I was fortunate enough to know her and a couple other people who were gay because I think it's important for us to not de-humanize gay people.  They are people who are just like us.
Few things anger me more than someone who hurts others out of ignorance and fear.  I strongly believe we should be kind to and get to know people even if they do things we think are wrong.

I've heard of so-called Christians who wouldn't dream of even talking to a gay person even though Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself". I think that's sick.  I think some people are afraid that if they get close to and try to understand a gay person, they might be convinced that being gay is not wrong after all.  If you're afraid to obey Jesus by loving people (which includes not judging them until you know them) than your relationship with God probably needs some work.

I also have a problem with that fact that Christians elevate sexual sin above other sins.  I don't think that's even biblical.  Sexual sin does have a profound effect on people but I think sins like fear, greed and jealousy are equally offensive to God.  How many of us do all those things on a regular basis?  My point is, sin is sin and we have no place to judge our neighbor.  We're supposed to "work out our own salvation."  Phillipians 2:12.  All of this is NOT to say "Oh, we all sin, so chill and let me enjoy myself in my sin!"  I just want us to get back on track with the reality of our human condition.

Now to Continue the  Discussion:
I have heard over and over people saying they are born this way, they didn't choose to be gay, this is who or what they are.

If we make being gay out to be something that just happens and just is, then we make it out to be, something out of our control, an accident.  And if we believe that it's just who we are and that it's out of our control, then no one can judge us for it or ask us to take responsibility for our actions.
If we believe that it is not a choice then we secure for ourselves in our own minds a comfortable reassurance that there is nothing wrong.

It reminds me of the ploy to make abortion okay in the minds of people.  They de-humanize it by changing the terminology.  They tell people they are just "getting rid of a few cells", disposing of insignificant "tissue".

I'm not a soap box ranter.  I just want to be in reality and say it like it is.  If you're going to be gay, then be honest and say that you are making the choice to be gay because it is a choice.

It makes me sad that my friends were hurt by their husbands who left them and their children to be gay.  It was as if in the minds of those men, they were justified by the world's opinion that they are simply being true to themselves and that is somehow noble?

Back to the little boy.  I want to tell you and everyone else:  you don't have to be gay.  Believe it or not, the world is practically telling us we have to.  If you are softer featured than most guys, if you're a prettier guy than most guys, it doesn't mean you're gay and you don't have to be.  (I am speaking mostly to men, I guess because I've seen more guys than girls being gay, but maybe that's just me) Just because you can relate well to girls, just because you like dance more than football, it doesn't mean you have to be gay.   The world will tell you that if you don't "come out" and say you're gay than you're denying yourself.

Hey, that's an interesting thought.  Didn't Jesus say to"deny yourself"?

They practically put labels on people and make us think we have to be something we're not.  They convince us.  They say A+B=C and you have to embrace it.

So dear brother, dear friend, I believe being gay is a choice.  As a Christian, I believe it is a choice that saddens my Lord because He has better things for us.  I am not God and I know only a little about how He judges us.  What we do is certainly important to Him.  Our choices certainly lay us open to His judgement, whether He judges that we do good or bad.
He has amazing gifts for all of us if we would, in the words of Keith Green, "Come to Him humbly, lay down at His feet and say "You're the Lord!  And I'll follow You the rest of my life on earth, so that I can spend the rest of eternity with You."