The Lion and the Lamb

I saw some lions at the University of Alabama.  They were the mascot of the school.
There was an inner cage where the lions were and an outer cage with a pathway between for workers.

There was a woman sitting on a lawn chair in that pathway between the cages and she was reading.   We soon found out that she was the lion keeper.  She was so nice and answered all of our questions. I
I asked,

"Would it be healthy for the lions to follow natural instincts and be allowed to chase and eat live animals?"

She told me that for all our safety, they have kept that carnivorous instinct in the background of the lions psyche and explained that they have been given cat food especially formulated for lions since they were young.

It totally made sense.  They were basically like house cats - powerful, big, house cats.

This got me thinking about us and our nature.

As a single woman after God's heart, I want to be a devoted, spiritual being whose natural being is under submission to the spirit.

Sexuality is one way I struggle.  I desire to share earthly intimacy and pleasure with another person, but I am single and that is something I cannot have right now.

The world says that it is natural and healthy to give in to any kind of desire especially sexual desires. The world says to do what you want and what feels good and they think that anyone who doesn't is weird or messed up.

I think of those human passions in me like the carnivorous nature of the lion.
It is best to deny the pet lion's violent, carnivorous nature for the good of all.  It is possible and okay to deny him this, therefore it must be possible and okay to deny myself sexual pleasure as godly singleness requires.

It can be hard at times and do you know what makes it harder?
Think about the lion.  What if they let him smell a bloody zebra leg but didn't let him have it?
That would be cruel and unsafe.   His carnivorous nature would kick in. He would want it and would probably fight for it.  Things would go downhill fast.

I am doing just that to myself when act on sexual desires and when I watch movies that contain romantic and sexual themes
I am waving that zebra leg in front of myself while I can't have it and it leaves me sad and unsatisfied.

I would not give much thought to my sexual desires if I was focused on
all my other desires in this life:   praising and glorifying God,
working hard at the things He has given me, learning, creating and taking care of others.

 I find it kind of frustrating how easy and acceptable it is for us to harm ourselves with the things of the world.
Mom loves those romantic movies and knows I do too, and she recommends this one or that one to me.
I watch them, love them, then I am tormented when I see the couple dancing and kissing.
Watching romantic movies when I was younger awakened me to desires for things I would have to wait for for years to come.  I worry about my little sisters watching that and how they must struggle like I do.  Maybe, like me, they won't know it's a struggle until later after it has all gone in.

So, I feel that I would like to not do it anymore.  I feel that I can be more satisfied with what I am given if I stop dwelling on what I cannot have.

I want to be contented like a lamb, free from disappointed longings.

No Negative Words

Is it permissible to often speak ill of one's self? In front of one's children? In front of one's friends? Is it permissible to insult oneself or always say what a mess you are?

I have heard it said that how you treat yourself affects how you treat others. That statement can be taken in many different ways. I have heard people urge parents to not speak ill of themselves to their kids because it can leave them confused about what is true.

If a child believes her mother to be wonderful and beautiful and wise and then the mother says of herself that she is ugly, stupid or fat, even in a joking way, what affect will this have?

Well, I have often noticed that what a parent says, is what a child will say.  Parents should not say anything they do not want their children repeating.

My own mother used to tell a story about when she was "big-as-a-house-pregnant".

One day when I was relating the same story to a pregnant friend, it didn't even cross my mind how offensive that term was until I had said it and my friend's surprised response made me realize.

Mom would tell the story like that because she figured she was talking about herself and it didn't matter how insulting it was, but it does matter! It matters a lot!  As a child, I assumed if mom said it, it must be ok.

We should be an example of kindness and respect with our words even when talking about ourselves and especially in front of those who will be shaped by our words.

Here's another example:  when one is presenting something to an employer or in a group,
if effort was put into it, one should not stand there and say
"Well it's not so good " in hopes that the employer will like it anyway.
If the judge agrees with your negative comments, it will leave you frustrated,
so why suggest that it is "not so good" in the first place?

 Be confident in the belief that you worked hard to make something good. Let them be the judge and then deal with it if the outcome is not favorable, but do not set yourself up for the undesirable outcome.

Negativity about yourself is just false modesty or an attempt to motivate yourself through guilt to change - and that doesn't work.  Whenever I have fallen into talking negatively about myself, my friends have always been there to say:
"Don't do that! Learn from your mistakes and move on, don't sit around thinking about them"

Lets not be negative - about anyone.

I Just Want to Live There

I just want to go here and run across those hills!!

I just want to live in that house and run down to the beach for a picnic and sit on this hill and paint it all with an easel and canvas. 

I just want to sit and stare at this lake and the mountains and breathe it all in.

The Choice to Love

You know those little things that people ask you to do or not do because it bothers them or annoys them?
 These things may seem ridiculous and nonsensical.
Our perceptions are so different and the next time something is annoying to you, they may not be able to make sense of it either.

We question why it's so important to that person, but the fact is, it is important to them.
I believe that if you love someone, something that is important to them will be important to you no matter how silly it seems.  It is a choice to actively love and make that person feel loved.  It's the little things that matter.

So I say this to you and to myself: if I do not respect the things that are important to others, then how can I expect others to respect the things that are important to me?

Wings of Love

Run across the ground,
As the wind with power pulls,
Up to the sky it lifts me,
Bound for celestial blues.

The rush of excitement,
My heart and lungs aheaving,
And rising higher, higher,
Look down on what I'm leaving.

Past the tops of tallest trees,
The expanse of space before me,
No birds or planes in my way,
Now through the sky I'm soaring.

Forgotten is the earth below,
For lost am I above,
Limitless I climb the clouds,
With unfailing wings of love.

That Love Thing Again

If I speak in the tongues of men 
or of angels,
but do not have love,
I am only a resounding gong 
or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy 
and can fathom all mysteries 
and all knowledge,
And if I have faith that can move mountains,
but do no have love,
I am nothing.

If I give all I posess to the poor
and give over my body to hardship 
hat I may boast
but do not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy
It does not boast,
It is not proud.
It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts always hopes
always perseveres.

Love never fails.

Sometimes I wonder if I truly love the people in my life to whom I say 
"I love you" every day.  I wonder if they truly love me.

 If I am impatient, unkind, self-seeking, rude, and yet say "I love you", this statement is unfounded. 

Whenever I have to spend an extended amount of time with my family, say when on vacation, I am reminded of this on both sides. 
It depresses me to see how, in what measure that they are rude and judgemental towards me, I am towards them as well.

 It is a helpless place to be because I can say nothing to them about it as I, too, am guilty. 
It's a cycle and we are all blind to our own folly while we judge others for theirs. 

What is the answer? How can we ever truly love one another? Of course, Jesus is the answer, but how? 

It only takes one.

One person to choose to be selfless, one person to pray for God to silence this guy inside:

This guy wants to blame everyone and yells out bitterly about how they are all wrong.  The anger that comes out of him is from pride and a feeling that others are abusing it.  

I kept this guy on the background of my phone to remind me NOT to be like him.  Sometimes it's easier to remember what we don't want to be like and to choose not to be.

I must remember the peace that may be found in silence.

This will please God. It is for Him that I make choices.  And though these choices are hard, is it not the hard things that are worthwhile?

I want to be able to truly say, "I love you" and it ring with truth.

Let the impossible be reality.  Lord, let me be a Princess of Sunshine.

That's Me

I always have a song in my head,
By 10-o'clock I'm in bed.
I wake up early
Eat and do my chores,
And by 8:30 I'm out the door.

I love my mom, dad and brothers, you see,
They'd do anything for me,
I have many friends but the best of all,
Is Jesus Christ, He's there when I fall,
If I need help he comes when I've said it,
And when good things happen,
I give Him the credit,

I like people, animals and art,
I value healthy eating, and sometimes I fart,
I love to dance and sing and laugh,
I don't like drama in case you ask.

I believe that others are more important than me,
When I'm giving,
That's when I'm free.

By the way, about healthy eating,
Don't get me wrong.
I really love cheating,
Pizza, Ice cream, Oreos too,
These are my favorites,
What about you?

Oh, yeah, I love to cook,
From Asian, Mexican, Italian cookbooks,
Mechanical engineering and science
Are cool, you know,
And historical fashion
Inspires me to sew.

I'm an actress and singer,
I play guitar,
But as for reading music,
I never got far,
I play on piano,
I love the outdoors,
Anyway, that's me.
Need I say more?