The Lion and the Lamb

I saw some lions at the University of Alabama.  They were the mascot of the school.
There was an inner cage where the lions were and an outer cage with a pathway between for workers.

There was a woman sitting on a lawn chair in that pathway between the cages and she was reading.   We soon found out that she was the lion keeper.  She was so nice and answered all of our questions. I
I asked,

"Would it be healthy for the lions to follow natural instincts and be allowed to chase and eat live animals?"

She told me that for all our safety, they have kept that carnivorous instinct in the background of the lions psyche and explained that they have been given cat food especially formulated for lions since they were young.

It totally made sense.  They were basically like house cats - powerful, big, house cats.

This got me thinking about us and our nature.

As a single woman after God's heart, I want to be a devoted, spiritual being whose natural being is under submission to the spirit.

Sexuality is one way I struggle.  I desire to share earthly intimacy and pleasure with another person, but I am single and that is something I cannot have right now.

The world says that it is natural and healthy to give in to any kind of desire especially sexual desires. The world says to do what you want and what feels good and they think that anyone who doesn't is weird or messed up.

I think of those human passions in me like the carnivorous nature of the lion.
It is best to deny the pet lion's violent, carnivorous nature for the good of all.  It is possible and okay to deny him this, therefore it must be possible and okay to deny myself sexual pleasure as godly singleness requires.

It can be hard at times and do you know what makes it harder?
Think about the lion.  What if they let him smell a bloody zebra leg but didn't let him have it?
That would be cruel and unsafe.   His carnivorous nature would kick in. He would want it and would probably fight for it.  Things would go downhill fast.

I am doing just that to myself when act on sexual desires and when I watch movies that contain romantic and sexual themes
I am waving that zebra leg in front of myself while I can't have it and it leaves me sad and unsatisfied.

I would not give much thought to my sexual desires if I was focused on
all my other desires in this life:   praising and glorifying God,
working hard at the things He has given me, learning, creating and taking care of others.

 I find it kind of frustrating how easy and acceptable it is for us to harm ourselves with the things of the world.
Mom loves those romantic movies and knows I do too, and she recommends this one or that one to me.
I watch them, love them, then I am tormented when I see the couple dancing and kissing.
Watching romantic movies when I was younger awakened me to desires for things I would have to wait for for years to come.  I worry about my little sisters watching that and how they must struggle like I do.  Maybe, like me, they won't know it's a struggle until later after it has all gone in.

So, I feel that I would like to not do it anymore.  I feel that I can be more satisfied with what I am given if I stop dwelling on what I cannot have.

I want to be contented like a lamb, free from disappointed longings.