I Am Not for a Man, I Am for God

I love my body, I love almost everything about it.  A lot of times I think that I have the perfect body and the most beautiful eyes and the strongest yet most beautiful hands and the most extraordinary hair.

Sometimes I'm sad because I watch romantic movies and I think about how I wish a man would look into my eyes, I wish a man would hold my hand and kiss my lips.
Well, I realized, that's not all I'm good for.  I realize that obviously God has more for me than that.

My mind is meant to know Him, my eyes are meant to look at Him, my lips are meant to praise Him, my arms are meant to reach for Him, my hands are meant to work for Him, my body is meant to go where He leads me and to build His kingdom and love Him.
I am not meant for a man.  At least not right now.  I am meant for God and I can be satisfied in that.

My mind is for no man, my mind is for my God.

My eyes are for no man, my eyes are for my God.

My lips are for no man, my lips are for my God.

My arms are for no man, my arms are for my God.

My hands are for no man, my hands are for my God.

My body is for no man, my body is for my God.

My feet are for no man, my feet are for my God.

A Letter on Being Gay

I saw a picture on Facebook of a boy who was about 12 years old, he was crying and the post essentially said "I am gay and I'm afraid of what my future may hold."  Lots of people commented sympathetically, encouraging him to have courage.

I've been thinking about all this gay versus not gay stuff that's blowing up the internet and the world.  I know none of it is new, people have been gay for centuries past.  The theme these days seems to be "This is who I am, this is how I was born, I'm embracing the truth about me, don't try stop me."

I was thinking about the little boy.  I was thinking about the two friends I have who's husbands left them to be gay.  I have been fortunate enough to have a friend who used to be gay and who obviously was around gay people a lot.  She helped me understand a little about how hurt and abuse from the opposite sex can lead someone to find refuge in a gay relationship.  I feel for those who have been hurt and I wish better things for them.

A Word to Christians:
I say I was fortunate enough to know her and a couple other people who were gay because I think it's important for us to not de-humanize gay people.  They are people who are just like us.
Few things anger me more than someone who hurts others out of ignorance and fear.  I strongly believe we should be kind to and get to know people even if they do things we think are wrong.

I've heard of so-called Christians who wouldn't dream of even talking to a gay person even though Jesus said "love your neighbor as yourself". I think that's sick.  I think some people are afraid that if they get close to and try to understand a gay person, they might be convinced that being gay is not wrong after all.  If you're afraid to obey Jesus by loving people (which includes not judging them until you know them) than your relationship with God probably needs some work.

I also have a problem with that fact that Christians elevate sexual sin above other sins.  I don't think that's even biblical.  Sexual sin does have a profound effect on people but I think sins like fear, greed and jealousy are equally offensive to God.  How many of us do all those things on a regular basis?  My point is, sin is sin and we have no place to judge our neighbor.  We're supposed to "work out our own salvation."  Phillipians 2:12.  All of this is NOT to say "Oh, we all sin, so chill and let me enjoy myself in my sin!"  I just want us to get back on track with the reality of our human condition.

Now to Continue the  Discussion:
I have heard over and over people saying they are born this way, they didn't choose to be gay, this is who or what they are.

If we make being gay out to be something that just happens and just is, then we make it out to be, something out of our control, an accident.  And if we believe that it's just who we are and that it's out of our control, then no one can judge us for it or ask us to take responsibility for our actions.
If we believe that it is not a choice then we secure for ourselves in our own minds a comfortable reassurance that there is nothing wrong.

It reminds me of the ploy to make abortion okay in the minds of people.  They de-humanize it by changing the terminology.  They tell people they are just "getting rid of a few cells", disposing of insignificant "tissue".

I'm not a soap box ranter.  I just want to be in reality and say it like it is.  If you're going to be gay, then be honest and say that you are making the choice to be gay because it is a choice.

It makes me sad that my friends were hurt by their husbands who left them and their children to be gay.  It was as if in the minds of those men, they were justified by the world's opinion that they are simply being true to themselves and that is somehow noble?

Back to the little boy.  I want to tell you and everyone else:  you don't have to be gay.  Believe it or not, the world is practically telling us we have to.  If you are softer featured than most guys, if you're a prettier guy than most guys, it doesn't mean you're gay and you don't have to be.  (I am speaking mostly to men, I guess because I've seen more guys than girls being gay, but maybe that's just me) Just because you can relate well to girls, just because you like dance more than football, it doesn't mean you have to be gay.   The world will tell you that if you don't "come out" and say you're gay than you're denying yourself.

Hey, that's an interesting thought.  Didn't Jesus say to"deny yourself"?

They practically put labels on people and make us think we have to be something we're not.  They convince us.  They say A+B=C and you have to embrace it.

So dear brother, dear friend, I believe being gay is a choice.  As a Christian, I believe it is a choice that saddens my Lord because He has better things for us.  I am not God and I know only a little about how He judges us.  What we do is certainly important to Him.  Our choices certainly lay us open to His judgement, whether He judges that we do good or bad.
He has amazing gifts for all of us if we would, in the words of Keith Green, "Come to Him humbly, lay down at His feet and say "You're the Lord!  And I'll follow You the rest of my life on earth, so that I can spend the rest of eternity with You."

What God is Like or What God Likes

Judging by nature and the earth we're on, I think His favorite color is blue (sky, water, flowers) with green being a close second (plants) then brown (dirt, trees, people), white (stars, clouds, sunlight, flowers, snow, people) and black (night, shadows, people).

Favorite number?  That's easy!  It's obviously two!  Just about everything in our world has a counterpart, people, animals, even plants.  The sun and moon are partners. Our bodies and that of animals and bugs have just about two of everything.

Five is a close second.  So many flowers have exactly five petals.  They look good that way. God also likes three, four, six and eight.  Apparently even numbers, mostly.  Some plants have three leaves on each stem like clover.  Some flowers have six petals.  God made it so that four legs or walls are best on houses, tables and all manner of structures.  The legs of animals and bugs come in four, six and eight a lot of times.

                               

I love analyzing things.  Some people laugh in a half annoyed way and tell me I'm such an analyzer. 

 I know I am and there's a reason God made me that way and I love it.

What do you thing about my analysis?  

Today's Prayer March 30th 2016

Lord I want to trust You, I want to believe You, I want to believe that I can do all things through You.

 I want to glorify You every moment.
I want to know You so deeply that nothing matters but pleasing You.

So when I wake and when I sleep and when I eat and when I dress and when I work and when I speak and when I sing and when I cry, every moment, in everything, I want it all to be about You.

You are my King I will follow You.

Scars Tell a Story by Rachel Fagan

I've been thinking about scars lately. As a massage therapist I see them all. There's a certain respect that comes over me when I see those scars and hear their stories.  When I was younger it used to annoy me when my peers would boast about their scars and try to collect as many as they could.  It seemed foolish to me to want to get hurt.   Now that I have grown, I think I understand more about people and the meaning and history that scars hold.  

Scars tell a story,

They tell of our lives,

From the very beginning,

When we opened our eyes.

Someone went through pain for us

To be here on this earth,

She still bears the marks we gave her

At the moment of our birth.

We began all our adventures,

We went stumbling along,

We were small, but the world was big,

Scars tell how we were headstrong.

Scars tell a story

About how we learned

That a curve in the road and the speed of a bike

Must carefully be discerned.

The anguish of youth,

Scars tell of the pain,

Of finding ourselves

And the truth and the gain.

Of feeling lost, alone,

And without hope,

Scars show we outlived

The hurtful way that we coped.

Scars tell of times

When we were having fun,

Calamity came, made the story great,

And we talk of how we won.

Scars tell of service,

And brave, daring deeds,

Of how we worked hard,

And risked all for their needs.

Scars tell of our culture, Our customs and beliefs. They represent devotion, love And the highest form of beauty.

Scars tell of accidents.

Some we wish to hide,

For who wants that reminder,

When it really hurt our pride?

Scars show the miracle

Of the old replaced with new,

The terrible thing was taken out,

In its place the healthful grew.

Some sickness or infection

Left it's mark behind,

But we know that we're the stronger for it, 

In body and in mind.

Scars tell a story.

Or, rather, make a statement,

Like a medal from a victory,

After hardship’s abatement .

Though we’ve been through trials,

And this life our skin has rived,

The scars are there to cry out,

“Here is proof that I survived!”

Being the Light

I am an expression of the love of God.
If I do not be that, then I do not glorify him. I hide him like with holding a light in a dark and lonely world.
 I WILL NOT WITHHOLD THE LIGHT.

I Love the Lord

I worry too much.  I worry about my mind.  Last night I dreamed that I left some pizza and wings in my old car and that they sat there in the back pocket of the driver's seat for months.  In my mind I was thinking,

           "Man, I need to remember things like this so it doesn't happen again."

I do stuff like that sometimes.  I forget things.  So much so that I really hate that word, "forget".
In my mind it is linked with frustration and stress and aggravation.
In my childhood, there was not a lot of mercy for mistakes, there was only punishment and usually the emotional kind of punishment where you are made to think that you failed.  It did not help me in any way to prevent further mistakes.

So this morning as I wonder where I left my phone and think about the imagined pizza in the back of the car, I have decided something.

I'm not going to worry anymore.

**haha, just found my phone. Yay!!**

Lord, I want to thank you, I want to praise you, I want to trust you.  I trust that You love me.  I trust that you will help me succeed to Your glory.

                                        ~    

I love the Lord because He hears my voice and my prayers, He listens to me, therefore I will follow Him forever.

Whenever I feel low or have been cast down, He saves me and I can rest in that.
He deals with me in such a generous way:   He rescues my soul from death, my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.

I shall walk with the Lord to the land of the living.
What could I give to the Lord for all the things He's given to me?
I'll fulfill all my promises to Him and I pray that as I do so, I will do it with all His people surrounding me.

Oh, Lord, I know I am your servant because you have broken the chains on me and set me free!
To You I will offer a sacrifice of thanks and call on Your name as I live in Your land.

Halleluyah!