I cannot presume to know what it is like to be a parent, but I was a kid not too long ago and I remember what that feels like. I have seen many, many different parents and the ways they interact with their kids. I have worked with kids and observed how they respond to different interactions.
That being said I want to share something I feel very strongly. Sometimes I see some parents who are really hard on their kids and by "hard" I mean that most of the time they are putting them down and treating them in a way that says:
"You're a failure. Are you ever going to get it right? You're stupid."
They may not think this is what they are saying, but it is.
It is good for kids to experience all the tough stuff in life. It is good for parents to hold high standards for them, let them make mistakes and fall, but there must be a patience and a kindness that parents have that encourages the child to go on.
As a parent, you have to believe in what they could be and not focus on all the things you think are wrong with them. You have to believe that they will succeed and you have to tell them that.
You have to remember that they are just starting out in life. They have to learn every little thing that you had to learn and it's going to take all the 30 years, give or take, that it took for you to learn it.
Laugh more than you yell, but laugh in a way that says:
"I love you and it's not the end of the world that you messed up or can't get it right."
Tell them:
"You'll get it!"
I think of harsh words and attitudes as a storm of lighting, rain, thunder and strong winds. The sun is patience, kindness and a helping hand. The child is a young tree. If the storm's always raging, and the sun never comes out to warm and heal, the tree will die.
It will be uprooted or grow sickly, weak or angry.
These strong storms come every now and then, but let them be rare and make sure the sun always comes out afterwards.
No comments:
Post a Comment